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Present {Five Minute Friday}

by in Dark Hope

Five minutes of free write on a given one-word prompt with Five Minute Friday. See more linked posts here.


 

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One of the hardest things about depression is trying to be present.

I can think about my kids and reminisce about both their pasts and their futures, but can I still my mind and focus on the long-telling recap of the latest Daniel Tiger episode?

I can philosophize about this and that and all things under the sun, but can I feel the sun’s warmth bathing its way across the room?

I can care immensely about my husband and his life, but can I process his answer to the question I just asked?

Depression weakens my long-suffering. It clouds my ability to get outside my own brain, demanding a self-focus that isn’t pride. It’s a thinking only inside oneself when the world is trying to tap on the invisible shield that has consumed me. The longer I stay inside, the harder it is to get out. (Much like winter in Maine.)

But the best thing about the present is that it remains, always faithfully beckoning for us to reconcile ourselves to the actual moment and people and place that we find ourselves.

6 Comments

  1. Jeanne Takenaka January 22, 2016

    Denise, I haven’t suffered from long-term depression. I’m sorry that you have. 🙁 Your insights into how someone with this processes, or doesn’t process, the world around them is helpful. I can see how being present in the present could be so hard, yet so necessary.

    I appreciate you sharing a bit of your story today.

    Reply
  2. Ryan Lilly January 22, 2016

    This is a great post that allows me to see what it must feel like to journey through depression.

    Reply
  3. Joyce January 22, 2016

    This was so well said. I’ve not suffered from depression, but appreciate so much the very poignant picture you’ve painted with your words. Thanks for sharing a glimpse. Take care.

    Reply

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